You Lost Me.
Yesterday, Kelsey (the Children’s Director) and I went to a workshop about the book You Lost Me. I had read most of the book before we attended, so I knew what to expect going in, but that still wasn’t enough to prevent me from getting pumped up while listening to everything that was presented to us. That’s what happens every time I hear talks over this specific topic. You might have heard me talk about something called Sticky Faith before. They address similar issues. Let me give you more insight into what You Lost Me. is all about.
You Lost Me. is basically a presentation of a massive study conducted by the Barna Group. The scope of the issue is people from the 18-29 year old age group are leaving the church en masse. The Barna Group set out to find out why. They interviewed thousands and thousands of young adults all across the nation. The important thing they discovered, and what we really need to understand, is a majority of these people have not left Christianity. They are still believers; they just want nothing to do with the church. They were not able to find one or two massive trends or reasons young people are leaving, but the important thing they discovered was that everyone has their own specific reason, and it is just as important as the next. It usually has something to do with feeling wronged by the church, left out by the church, or suppressed by the church in some way.
At one point during the workshop yesterday, they had three people from the Indy area get up on stage and talk about their faith journeys. They are all people who grew up in the church, but had since left. One person claimed she hated the church, but loved God and believed Jesus was His son who died for our sins and was resurrected. Another person just decided when he was 15 to stop going to church, his parents respected his decision, and he hasn’t been back since; he hasn’t really even thought about issues of religion or faith and doesn’t really care to. The last person grew up going to a very strict church where everything had to be approved through the pastor. She got fed up with being told “no” all the time, so she just left. She now attends a Unitarian church with her family.
A person from the crowd asked what the church should do for people in their situations. What could the church have done to prevent them all from leaving? Their answers boiled down to listen, allow room for various beliefs, and don’t just force-feed people answers. Engage them in dialogue, and allow them to explore and think for themselves. The book itself dives into things the church can do to keep young people around. A lot of it had to do with developing meaningful relationships with adults in the church – or intergenerational ministry. This is where the parallel to the Sticky Faith research comes in.
I highly suggest reading You Lost Me. or at least checking out the website, which you can go to here. I like to think of the changes the church should yield based on this information will not only keep young people in the church, but will make it more like the church Christ envisioned. The church has gotten away from being the church, and that is the real reason this age group is leaving in droves. People are not easily fooled. They can tell when a person, or an organization, is faking it – especially the specific age group who is leaving. The church has been faking it for a while now. Let’s get back to being the church. Let’s start by being informed.
Positive Concepts: The Interweb Version 